Coping with school includes learning how to handle teasing.
As your child enters school this fall, whether it's for the first time or in a new setting, you may have some concerns about how he will adjust and be accepted by his peers. You can support your child by providing information about limb differences and prostheses to his teachers, and by encouraging your child to develop to his fullest potential by participating in activities that interest him.
The teacher is essential in your child's adjustment to school. If the teacher is comfortable with your child and his prosthesis, the students in the classroom will also be more comfortable. To promote a positive relationship between your child and his teacher, introduce your child to the teacher before fall classes begin. This is also a good time to give the teacher a brief explanation of your child's particular type of limb difference and any physical limitations he may have. The booklet, Children with Limb Loss: A Handbook for Teachers, is available from the Area Child Amputee Center in Grand Rapids, Mich. This can be given to your child's teacher to help explain the various needs a child with a limb difference may have, and also to give basic information on limb differences and prostheses. The teacher should understand that your child may have to miss school to make clinic visits or for necessary prosthetic adjustments or repairs.
As parents, you should encourage your child to be as functional in school activities as his physical condition permits. However, a teacher shouldn't assume that a child with a limb loss will necessarily have any physical limitations. Successful experiences lead to the development of positive self-esteem. If your child has physical limitations, reasonable and achievable goals should be set to allow him to succeed. Often, adaptive equipment can be made or provided to allow him to participate in sports and recreation, or to play musical instruments. Your child should not be given special privileges or treated differently in terms of classroom discipline.
If your child needs physical therapy, occupational therapy or any other special services at school, this should be written in the Individualized Education Plan (IEP). Many children with limb differences are seen at a specialty center with a multidisciplinary team composed of an orthopedic surgeon, nurse, social worker, physical and occupational therapists, prosthetist/orthotist, and possibly a pediatrician and nutritionist. It is helpful for your child's clinic team to collaborate with the school therapists in writing goals, and for the school therapists to communicate through written reports about the progress that your child is making. Any problems should also be communicated to the clinic team.
There are other things to consider before the school year begins, especially if your child has problems with mobility or classroom activities. Is the school wheelchair-accessible? Are bathrooms accessible? Can your child have duplicate books at home and at school so that it isn't necessary to carry them back and forth? Can your child be let out of class a few minutes early to avoid hallway traffic? If handwriting is a problem, can your child use a computer or tape recorder or have another student's notes copied? If your child has no arms, can he use his feet?
Your child's classmates will be curious and most likely will ask questions about your child's limb differences. According to some specialists, behavior of able-bodied persons has been shown to change in the presence of those who are physically different. Non-disabled people are often less comfortable and less spontaneous when interacting with those who have physical limitations. In turn, those with physical differences may be self-conscious and extremely sensitive to the reactions of others. (Coping with Limb Loss, Winchell, pgs. 185-186)
There are a number of videos and books that may be helpful for classroom use. Your child's clinic team may als
o be willing to send a team member to your child's classroom to give a presentation. During show-and-tell time, a younger child may like to explain how his prosthesis works. To avoid singling out the child with the limb difference, the teacher may want to have each child describe something special about himself. When your child becomes a teenager, driver's training and vocational counseling needs should be addressed by the school and by your clinic team. The primary goals of parents, teachers and clinic team members should be to help the child become as independent as possible.
Call the Technical Assistance for Parents Program in Boston, MA, at 617-482-2915, for the contact in your state regarding accommodations in schools for students with disabilities.
For more information, write or call: Amputee CoalitionC, Mary Free Bed Hospital and Rehabilitation Center, 235 Wealthy St., S.E., Grand Rapids, MI 49503, 616-454-7988. Amputee CoalitionC booklets can be ordered from the resource form on the insert of InMotion or directly from Amputee CoalitionC.
Clinical psychologist Dorothy Strom, Ph.D., has some helpful suggestions:
- Remind your child that everyone is different in some way and most children get teased about something.
- Teach your child that although he cannot control being teased, he can control his reaction.
- Encourage your child to stay calm; getting upset will only encourage the teaser.
- Respond with humor.
- Ask about a difference the teaser may have (i.e., Why do you wear glasses? Have freckles?).
- Teach your child the difference between another child's request for information and actual teasing.
- Encourage your child to express feelings about being different.
- Support your child's attempt to handle the problem by himself! Refrain from directly intervening.
