By Kathy Spozio

ACA's Peer visitation training program is getting a face-lift. During the past year a dedicated committee has been hard at task, reviewing and rewriting the program to better suit the needs of the new amputee. The changes will also serve to make things better for trainers, peer visitors, and regional representatives, according to Pat Isenberg, ACA Program Manager for Training and Outreach. 

The National Peer Network's (NPN) familiar program turned over its new leaf on January 31 in Knoxville, TN, when its revised format was piloted for the first time for members of the local Amputees Coming Together (ACT) support group. A second pilot, in Roanoke Virginia in February, for the Roanoke Amputee Network, will be the last opportunity for edits before new training manuals go to press. Both trainers and peer visitors will receive spiral bound handbooks with a fresh look. The two-part format, divided into training and resource sections, will address, for the first time, different types of visitations, i.e., at the hospital, in home, and by telephone. Other notable changes will be the incorporation of a pre- and post-workshop quiz, role-play in the early part of the training experience, and a new section on cultural sensitivity.

Because the format has been revised, it will be necessary to retrain individuals who are currently on the trainer roles, along with anyone not previously trained. This initial training will be offered in Anaheim at the National Conference in July and potential trainers will be invited to participate. Perhaps one of the biggest changes that trainers and trainees alike will notice is the evaluation process. According to Isenberg, the new program provides for the trainer to evaluate the trainee at the end of the day-long session, to determine if she or he is qualified to be a trainer an/or visitor. Participation alone, will not guarantee certification.

ACA realizes that there's a lot to cover in a short period of time and hopes to equip both trainers and visitors with the information necessary to focus on developing the necessary communication skills in this revised approach. But, as Pat so aptly explained, there's a certain skill level that only comes with practice.

For more information concerning the NPN or the new visitation training program, contact Pat Isenberg or Becky Bruce at 888-267-5669.

2002 Peer Visitation Training Schedule

• January 31, Knoxville TN; Amputees Coming Together (ACT)
• February 23, Roanoke, VA; Roanoke Amputee Network (RAN), Blue Ridge Independent Living Center
• March 23, Champagne, IL; East Central Illinois Amputee/Family Support Group, Carle Foundation Hospital
• July 22, Anaheim, CA; ACA National Conference

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. . . . And All That Jazz

by Kathy Spozio

I'm convinced there is never one single method of solving problems or learning skills. That's why I'd like to tell you about one more approach to refining the vital peer visitation skill of demonstrating empathy. In Friend to Friend: How you can help a friend through a problem, I read about a concept called "crawling into the situation," an expression that authors J. David Stone and Larry Keefauver use to refer to empathy . . . and I really like it!

Now, we all know something about empathy . . . it's a skill we try to develop in order to become effective support group leaders and peer visitors, and in the case of this reference book, good friends. I think its safe to deduce that the ability to "empathize" goes hand in hand with friendship in a multitude of ways. Simply put, empathy is learning to listen in such a way as to understand how the person is feeling. Trying to think, act, and feel in their interest. This skill then is important to any relationship, especially that of peer visitor and new amputee.

Often times we may find ourselves feeling frustrated when we are faced with another's need for help, whether that be a friend who calls or stops by to unwind, or something more formal like a peer visit. Can you recall hearing yourself say things like "Don't worry," "It will all come out in the wash," "Don't cry", or "Things will look better tomorrow?" Well, if you can you're not alone. All of these phrases leave a lot of room for improving our empathetic listening and response.

Now let's get back to "crawling into the situation." Have you ever thought of being a good listener as analogous to listening to Jazz? The authors of Friend to Friend suggest that this is a good frame in which to understand and become proficient at empathy. And, since Santa brought me a new Bose, I think I'm really starting to get the picture, or is it the "wave?"

"You simply cannot hear jazz. It is much more than hearing the horns, woodwinds and so on. To really listen to jazz, you must lie down on the couch and close your eyes. You feel the beat. You imagine what might be going on inside those players. You get wrapped up in the music and let it take you away," write authors Stone and Keefhauver. This ability to listen via "crawling into" can be compared to the way we, as peer visitors, need to listen to our visitees. We need to look for the melody behind the improvisation; in other words, look below the surface of the person we're visiting and find our way inside to the deeper feelings. Remember how it was when you were a new amputee . . . go back to that place. Think about how musicians performing jazz play off of each other and apply this to how you might respond to a question or lead into a new topic. . . you and the new amputee trading lyrics and sharing musical ideas back and forth. To really appreciate jazz, one has to listen very carefully . . . to really understand what new amputees are feeling we need to listen very carefully too . . . we must hear all the variations in the tune that is being played for our ears. 

Now, I'm not suggesting that you lie down on the bed or sofa on your next peer visit, but I do believe that thinking about "crawling into the situation," as you would crawl into a jazz session, might help simplify the essence of empathy . . . we crawl into another's thoughts, feelings and actions. So, next time you get a call for a peer visit, take a minute to turn up the bass, feel and listen to a little Billy Holiday, Ray Charles or Louie Armstrong . . . and set the stage for empathetic, and maybe even easy, listening!

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Q & A Forum

Dear Kathy,

What do you do when the new amputee you are visiting is reluctant to talk? I've tried simply going ahead with my "spiel" but, frankly, my monologue is not very satisfying.

Helen

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Dear Helen,

Being hesitant or reluctant to talk isn't the worst thing that can happen during a peer visit. I realize its against human nature to be comfortable with silence, but this is the time to start practicing! I like to think of silence as another form of communication, even if that sounds contradictory...we can still communicate in silence. It isn't necessary to fill the entire visit with words; often, just sitting with someone is helpful. And, allowing the new amputee to be where they "are" is always the right thing to do.

If you've made a few attempts at small talk and after a period of time, lets say about 10 to 15 minutes, there hasn't been any attempt to communicate verbally on the part of the amputee, its okay to say something like, "It seems like you would rather not talk right now . . . that's okay . . . sometimes there aren't words to express what we're feeling. I've felt that way sometimes myself." With this type of response we are acknowledging feelings, affirming their choice, and empathizing.

Give it a few more minutes, and if there is still no response, try something like "Would you like me to just sit quietly with you for a while longer, or would you prefer that I come back another time?" When you give the person you're visiting the opportunity to choose if and who talks, and if you offer to stay or leave, you are allowing them to take back some control in their life.

Remember, each person reacts differently to amputation, and understanding this before you begin the visit will be helpful.

Kathy

(If you have some technique that has worked for you in this or a similar situation, please let me know so I can share it in the next issue.)

An important part of the "Peer Visitation Corner" is the Q&A Forum and comments from readers about their peer visitation experiences. Since the Communicator is your newsletter, please contribute by sending your questions and comments directly to Kathy Spozio at mermaid@usachoice.net .